1. So what if life is kicking your ass and wiping the pavement with your face? It really could be worse… Really… it could…
2. So what if you don’t like your body. I’m not particularly fond of mine either but I sure as hell enjoyed those donuts I ate for dinner last night! Besides, it’s only going to get worse with age so enjoy the better before you reach the worse.
3. So what if you’re feeling, sick, under the weather, down, etc. etc., blah, blah, blah. At least you don’t have something 100% fatal like death. Or effing Ebola.*
4. So what if you have regrets, who doesn’t!? Like that time you had the extra shot of Tequila and spit it right back out at the bartender… Or how about that time you spent your entire tax refund in Forever 21 only to gain 15 lbs in less months than you have fingers (at least your closet is fashionably dressed)… Still, I don’t know about you but I’d rather have stupid regrets than “no ragrets” any day!
5. So what if you spent 50k on a Liberal Arts degree from the University of South Ben Dover and are now 27 and working as a barista at Starbucks for $8.50 an hour and tips. The joke is on the government cause you’re going back for a Masters. Deferment, bitches!
6. So what if you’re single on V-day!? Beyonce said get your hands up and as a happily married woman, she def knows what the f*ck she’s talking about, am I right!? So get those mother effing hands up ladies and just be grateful that your name isn’t Anna… or Rosalie… or Jessica… or Tina…
That Laura is a lucky lady, am I right? I’m super jealous. Super. Jealous.
7. So what if you’re at the point in your life when your Facebook feed is chalk full of new born baby pics, “I said yes” 5 carat diamond rings and first house photographs. 90% of babies are f*cking ugly for a least the first 3 months, 50% of marriages end in divorce and recent foreclosure rates rival those of the Great Depression. You’re not doin’ so bad after-all!
*This is not an actual statistic